I am super sad because my camera lens was not working for Lucy's birthday. I didn't have the idea to switch lenses until it was too late. I just thought it was the camera. So we had a fun birthday on the trampoline (one of her favorite places) and sadly, not one photo is in focus! So, I only included a few, but atleast we have them. Once we got inside I found my point and shoot and took a couple of cake-eating ones.
She did not let go of this ball all night...except to eat cake.
In this photo, Gavin is holding a letter from Preston to Lucy: "Lucy I hope you have a happy birthday and I hope you grow. Love, Preston"
She is one. One!! We are in denial over here. On her birthday, I was remembering
the day she was born and pining for it. You want labor to be over, then you want your body back, then you want her to sleep through the night, then you want her to sit up, then you want her to hold her own bottle, then you want her to walk...then when she does all those things, you want it back--all the time before any of it.
Truly, I did enjoy this little baby girl all year, though. I nursed (well, truthfully this part isn't over yet) and swaddled and sang and cuddled and drank her in. She is our last baby, so this day was bittersweet. Of course, she is still a baby, really. Still, I miss it.
I was also reminded of the poem I wrote for Gavin when he turned one. So, I adjusted it for Lucy and want to post it again:
Magical Disappearing Act
where o where has my little babe gone?
i've looked in the cradle,
i've searched all day long.
she's disappeared i tell you,
nowhere in sight.
my infant has vanished,
can you sense my plight?
that baby who cuddled,
and kicked, and cooed.
is replaced by a toddler,
another small person in my brood.
you see, i'm poetic--
she's not
gone, per se.
she just had a birthday
and she's "one" today.
as if this sweet little cherub
could sense a coming change--
as if she knew she was older
her abilities did rearrange.
no more sitting idly by,
why, first steps were taken.
she learned "mama" and
"ball" and, well, i was mistaken
that my baby would stay
and always remain.
that just once
one wouldn't change--
just continue the same.
change is constant.
we learn that at birth.
God wants us to change,
to refine while on earth.
so, i'll let her keep changing.
i guess it's okay.
for the other ones did--
and they're better each day.
disappeared, that small baby,
the one not yet "one",
but how pleased i can feel
that the magic lives on.
magic, like change,
is constant you see.
it's the marvelous presence
of possibility.
so change and grow
my magician, my doll.
i've got photos and memories
to keep you small.