Of softening

"For last years words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice."

T.S. Eliot

We've started this tradition of having a family theme at the beginning of each year. Last year was "Remember & Respect". This year it is "Soft Words & Soft Voices".

When Steve and I were married, the man of God told us to always remember to use soft words in our home. We were so giddy and starry-eyed that bless-ed day, that this is one of the few things we collectively remember.

We thought it was an interesting admonition at the time, but have since seen the wisdom and need for it. Bless our hearts, Steve and I are both endowed with rather loud voices. I remember as a child, my mom constantly telling me, "Lower your voice, honey. " "Lisa, lower your voice." Even in college, my roommate and I would be up late talking and suddenly her eyes would get big and she would say, "Um, take it down a notch...we might wake the neighbors." Now, I am often found telling many members of my family, "Um, Sweetie, I'm right here. I can hear you."

To add insult to injury, we have a home with two stories and several areas of our home that are "blackout" spots, meaning, you seriously cannot hear anyone at the opposite end of the house when you are there...so we yell. Up the stairs, down the stairs, from the kitchen to the back bedroom....

"Boys! Time for dinner!"

"Paige! Get your shoes! We need to go!.."

"Gavin! Stop torturing your brothers!.."

"Could somebody pleeeease bring me some toilet paper?!"

"Where's my book report?!"

It's exhausting.

So, we have decided to make a conscious effort to work on this. These things will still happen, but we hope that their frequency will decrease.

The irony is that our familial conflicts do not typically occur with raised voices...but, that is where soft words come in. We want to be more aware of what we say and how we say it.

Oh, I remember this talk by Elder Holland.* So perfect. So powerful. So needed in this

world, right? I am reminded in this talk how POW-ER-FUL our words are. Words. He quotes James in the Bible when comparing our tiny, little tongues' influence to that of a tiny, little fire...it's effects are long lasting.

So, that's what we're working on this year. And as resolutions usually go, we are hoping for the best.

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* A few favorite references from this talk:

James 3:10 "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be."

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."